The Best Career For You, Based On Your Horoscope
Notice: Undefined offset: 0 in /efs-stg/sites/thezoereport.com/wp-content/themes/thezoereport/inc/share.php on line 191
The system of choosing a career feels flawed. How are you supposed to know what you want to do for the next 50+ years at age 18, when you barely know yourself at all? Most of us end up wherever we are largely by happenstance, but it can help to have some guidance when looking towards the future of your work life. To help you achieve some direction for 2017, we tapped astrology babes Cara George and Bess Matassa of Mojave Rising—a project which “harnesses the energetic language of astrology through the luscious, material world, and offers everything from birth chart walking tours to astrological wine tasting parties and zodiac erotica”—to break down each sign by its true calling. Here, your career horoscope.
March 21 - April 19
Work/Life Balance: How can you activate your badass, lone wolf capabilities while collaborating with the world in a way that feels mutually beneficial?
Boss-Lady Icon: Racecar driver—speed, friction, and pitstop communion.
Power Suit: Dickies jumpsuit.
April 20 - May 20
Work/Life Balance: How can you sink your teeth into lusciously-grounded material security while also exploring the riskiness of becoming professionally “unstuck”?
Boss Lady Icon: Biodynamic winemaker—tasty sensuality, right timing, and elemental experimentation.
Power Suit: Old Hollywood silk robe.
May 21 - June 20
Work/Life Balance: How can you sample the full-range of color, light, and prismatic possibility, while also committing this rainbow-ed spectrum to a fixed surface as you choose a path?
Boss Lady Icon: Makeup artist—bedazzlement, transformation, and costumed chameleons.
Power Suit: Glam-rock drag.
June 21 - July 22
Work/Life Balance: How can you revel in your penchant for professional potency that’s emotionally connected to your roots while creatively launching yourself into the future?
Boss Lady Icon: Antiques dealer—scrapbooks, unexpected treasures, and flea market lunacy.
Power Suit: Vintage velvet and lace.
July 23 - August 22
Work/Life Balance: How can you harness the glittering dynamism of your solar-powered ego while also letting others glow in the hothouse heat of your powerful glamorama?
Boss Lady Icon: Hotelier— heart-on-sleeve hospitality, luxe leisure, and sumptuous feasting.
Power Suit: Lisa Frank-printed unitard.
August 23 - September 22
Work/Life Balance: How can you continue to refine and purify your skill set while recognizing that things are more than good enough exactly as they are?
Boss Lady Icon: Perfumer—expert mixology, careful pipettes, and the integrity of a signature scent.
Power Suit: Luxuriously-lined lab coat.
September 23 - October 22
Work/Life Balance: How can you equilibrate between your aesthetic idealism and a call towards accepting the real world in all its curious imperfection?
Boss Lady Icon: Museum curator—considered construction, intricate storylines, and visual beauty.
Power Suit: A-line mini dress.
October 23 - November 21
Work/Life Balance: How can you celebrate your passion for carnal power while building a precise professional approach that dives beneath the surface?
Boss Lady Icon: Surgeon—primal penetration, difficult incisions, and excising the outmoded.
Power Suit: Agent Provocateur.
November 22 - December 21
Work/Life Balance: How can you tap into your infectiously dynamic capacity to rally the masses while satisfying your deep spiritual need for career meaning?
Boss Lady Icon: Adventure Guide—off-road boldness, losing the map, and border crossing.
Power Suit: Canadian tuxedo.
December 22 - January 19
Work/Life Balance: How can you exercise your own authority without any need for external feedback while still ruling the roost as per your divine right?
Boss Lady Icon: Landscape architect—patient empowerment, sophisticated authority, and empire building.
Power Suit: Chanel suit.
January 20 - February 18
Work/Life Balance: How can you go far beyond the borders of the usual as you experiment with the eccentric edges of professional possibility while still remaining relevant and intelligible?
Boss Lady Icon: Foreign correspondent—risky exploration, invigorated activism, and far-flung translations.
Power Suit: Parachute pants.
February 19 - March 20
Work/Life Balance: How can you delight in your desire for fluid, expansive employment while balancing the “real” world with the wild dream world?
Boss Lady Icon: Gambler—risky egoless-ness, faith in the unseen, and mystical materialism.
Power Suit: Birthday suit.